I’d been meaning to see this show ever since an ex-Shawnee friend and colleague, Ms. Doreen Montalvo, landed a role in the ensemble of this new Broadway show. Then it won the Tony (the BIG one), and I realized it would be harder to land tickets. Since then, Doreen has become a swing for all the female roles, so I’ve been dying to come out and see her do one of them. Got the opportunity this past Monday, 12/14/09.

Doreen played Camilla, and she was fantastic. One of my favorite things about the show, and not because I was biased in knowing her. She was great. I was happy.

The show? Not so much. Not really my style. I went in knowing that the music is basically all the forms of music that I dislike - salsa, hip-hop, rap, etc. But I thought it would be Broadway-ed up enough to appeal to a mass audience. It was, it just still wasn’t very interesting or very good. Some of the lyrics in the rap pieces (for the character of Usnavi) were good. But it’s weird to have a leading male on Broadway not sing a note. Call me a purist.

My main issue with the show is that there is NO PLOT. NONE. It’s a portrait of a neighborhood. People living in Washington Heights. And unfortunately, a pretty inaccurate portrait. Washington Heights is where the Dominicans live. Maybe there are some Puerto Ricans, but not too many. This show however, chronicles the neighborhood as if they both live there in equal numbers and all live together in peace and harmony. Not true. These two ethnic groups traditionally stay pretty separate and have massive rivalry. But not in the squeaky clean version of this play, oh no. And I’m sorry, I’ve spent some time in the Heights, it is pretty scary up there sometimes. In this play there was no crime, no crackheads, no white ladies getting leered at - or even harassed - basically all the things that I see when I go up there - did not exist in the world of this show. It’s like a fairy-land depiction of how the writer romanticized about his old ‘hood while his parents sent him off to Wesleyan, where he wrote this show.

Again, back to the lack of plot. None. Usually there’s some kind of villain or conflict. Nope. So….it was two and half hours of mediocre songs with nothing happening.

The romantic leads had zero chemistry and their love duets were painful to watch.

The comic relief, the character of Sonny, was very funny, and the best part of the show besides Doreen.

It has SO many similarities to Rent I couldn’t believe it. Basically, In The Heights is an updated version of rent. it’s set further uptown, has more ethnic people, the music is more ethnic rather than pop, but that’s about it. Even the set looks pretty much the same. And each song and moment in the show can pretty much be compared to a moment/song in rent.

And speaking of the set, if you sit in the back half of the orchestra (where I was), the seating is so raked that you can’t see the top 3rd of the set. You miss everything that’s going on in the second floor windows of all the buildings on stage. I suspect there were things happening up there. I didn’t see any of it.

I really don’t get why everyone thought this was so groundbreaking when it came out. Because it gives a voice to Latinos on Broadway? Because it employs Latino actors? Because it represents a portion of NYC that is largely ignored in the artistic community? Sure. But Best Musical of the Year? Better than freaking Next to Normal? I think NOT. You can’t even put those two shows in the same category, in terms of quality. I think In the Heights does not deserve all the hype. I just don’t get it. Maybe as a white female, I’m not supposed to. Which again, pisses me off. I don’t enjoy being alienated.

And the saddest part of the show? When they tell the character of Nina that she has to stay in school to earn her Bachelor’s degree so that she’ll be the one to get out of the Heights and make something of herself. All I could do was sigh, and think depressingly, oh honey, it’ll take more than just a bachelor’s degree nowadays. You need a masters’ at the very least, and maybe then you’ll be able to move to, oh, I dunno, Morningside Heights. (Still, the Heights, hehehe.) But her whole family is banking on her to earn this degree that none of them have - which in the real world - totally useless. Somebody should tell them. It’s sad. So is most everything else about the show. Except the Piragua guy. He was awesome. And on stage for like 3 minutes total.

Best song in the show - Inutil, sung by Kevin. Probably also the most emotionally driven, broadway-ish song.

Oh and I didn’t get why we were supposed to care about any of the characters, either. They were mostly unlikable stereotypes. Why does Usnavi like Vanessa? For her afro and ability to dress like a prostitute? Because she’s stupid and vacuous. Why does Benny like Nina? He’s kind of a loser and she’s a self- hating snob. These were not people I wanted to spend my evening with.

The part of the show that was supposed to be all sweet and nice and happy, literally made me groan and triggered my gag reflex. The rest of the audience oohed and aahed with glee. Apparently, sentimentality wins points over actual content. This partially summarizes the continued success of the show. Fuck that.

The end.

I really can’t say much about this show. Mostly because I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.

I will say a few things.
1) Apparently the only reason really to see this show is for Nancy Opel’s perfomance. But of course, she was on vacation when I went. I did not like her understudy, at all. She smirked her way through the show. Just awful. But the show wasn’t good enough that I would go back and see it with Nancy. Also, I think it closed.

2) Either I am getting too old, or it was way too loud. No - it was way too loud. But only when Toxie roared. The rest of the time, it was fine. So, just bad sound balancing.

3) I later watched the film of The Toxic Avenger, for comparison’s sake. It seems to me, the whole point of that movie is not the mutant, but the murderous 80’s vixen health-club rats. The musical featured no 80’s hair and no health club. What was the point in that? So sad.

4) Diana DeGarmo, who came in second on the only season of American Idol I didn’t watch, therefore I do not care or know who she is, was actually really good in her part. She was one giant Blind joke, but her comedic timing, cuteness, and downright good acting made the show somewhat fun. And of course, singing-wise, the girl can WAIL. And I was watching her during the first performance of a three-show day for them, and it didn’t sound like she was holding back vocally at all, so good for her.

5) The two guys that play ALL the characters (white guy and black guy) were awesome. And ran around like monkeys, changing characters, changing wigs and accents and costumes and literally running around like nutballs. And were totally hilarious. Although the show I saw, the role of “black guy” was being played by a white actor. I just don’t think they cared anymore.

6) There needed to be way more gore (like in the movie, or in the NWS production of Evil Dead from last year). Either way more scary gory or waaaaay more funny campy. It sat in an uncomfortable line, right in the middle, and never made up it’s mind.

7) Some of the music was ok. Written by someone that may or may not have been in Bon Jovi at some point.

So I think I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more if Ms. Opel had not been on vacation. Bad timing. (also, bad show.)

Just do Evil Dead again. I’ll be there.