Saw this show over a month ago at Studio 54, and have been putting off writing this review ever since. The Apple Tree, by the team that also wrote Fiddler on the Roof and She Loves Me (Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick), hasn’t been seen on Broadway since the 1960s. And with good reason. This cutesy, sappy, dated show has nothing to offer a modern day audience, aside from nostalgia.

Even it’s construction is problematic. The evening is comprised of 3 one-acts. The first is a retelling of Genesis. Adam is a bull-headed male, Eve is a glittering self-loving twit. Eventually, their character flaws diminish and they learn to love each other. They have children and grow old and die. And that’s about it. This story is told on a mostly bare stage - yes - it’s the dawn of man and I get the concept of stark nothingness to represent the beginning of time - but the stage was too bleak and barren - especially with such bland material. There are a few cute jokes here, mostly word play, and all are your stereotypical battle-of-the-sexes fodder.

After the intermission comes scene 2, the tale of Barbarella, a princess living in ancient Persia (I think?). It’s the story of her and her forbidden love within the world of her barbaric kingdom. Finally, we see some more bodies on the stage (aside from the first act, which was 3 people, who just looked so lonely on that bare stage) and the use of colorful costumes gave my eyes a welcome distraction. The music is a bit more rounded out here as well, and the storyline has a bit more urgency than the previous act, making it more interesting, but still not great. And the ending of this tale left me completely cold and unsatisfied. Thanks, writers.

The third piece is really the only one that deserves much credit. I honestly wish the entire show was about the characters we meet in part 3, and that the other 2 parts had been omitted completely. In act 3, we meet a dirty little tone-deaf chimney sweep who wants to be a movie star. Her cinderella-esque fairy godmother comes and turns her into screen siren Passionella, and her life begins it’s fairy tale movie star journey. Everything about this third piece works: the performances especially rock here, but costumes, sets, lighting, music, script - it was like watching a completely different play - one that suddenly got good. Even tho the material is still dated here, it somehow works anyway.

The performances throughout the show come close to saving the material, and in some cases, do. In some cases, however, even good acting cannot rule the day. Marc Kudisch is whiny and intolerable as Adam, forgettable as a hero in the second act, and absolutely genius as a British Rock God in part 3. What bothered me most about his roles in the show is that they seem totally disconnected. Conversely, Brian D’Arcy James plays the narrator character in each part. In part 2, his balladeer/guitar storyteller schtick was so overly hammed up due to lack of actual jokes, I could see him straining and struggling with the material.

Ms. Chenowith gets her own paragraph, of course - why shouldn’t she, she gets her own show! The show really is just a huge star vehicle for her. She’s on stage the entire time, steals every scene, and the rest of the cast, even her immediate supporting cast, is really inconsequential compared to the importance of all of her characters. I found her Eve to be insufferable, her Barbarella to be sloppy and self-indulgent, and her Passionella to be charming, inspired and wonderful. Any non-fan of Kristen Chenowith will fall in love with her in act 3.

Side note- in act 2 - a character trips, Kristen ad-libs the line “watch out, there’s a step there…” the audience laughs, making the actors laugh, and Kristen proceeds to crack herself up so intensely that she can no longer finish her song about the tigers. She’s breaking down laughing, gasping, and apologizing for the remaining 3 or 4 verses of the song, finally leaving the stage with an “oh thank god!” upon exiting. A cute and endearing human moment? Or unprofessional and indulgent? I was certainly amused but granted, I didn’t care to hear the actual lyrics she was supposed to be singing - if I had cared about the material at all, I might have felt cheated.

It confuses my as to why Roundabout would choose to do this show - after being known as somewhat of the edgier theatre makers in town. Threepenny Opera, Cabaret, and Assassins are just three examples of previous shows that have worked so well in that theatre, and they’ve all had a definite dark and edgy side to them. My guess is that that particular style of theatre making has a tendency to alienate too many elderly subscribers. So they wanted to do a just-ok version of a just-ok yet highly traditionally-minded show. In that sense, the show is a success.